Bridesmaid Dresses You Can Actually Wear Again!

All dresses shown here are made by Bari Jay and can be found at TJFormal.com.

Autumn Inspiration: Orange

Orange and Chocolate Brown Invites by Renaissance Writings

"Orange Poppy Cake" by Polly's Cakes

Orange Calla Lily Bouquet

To Favor or not to Favor? That is the Question.

Dear Nicole,

In trying to cut costs at the beginning of wedding planning I decided I didn't need to give favors to my guests. Is this rude or will anyone even notice?

Sincerly,
Kelly


Hi Kelly,

This question comes up a lot--so thanks for asking. And I'm going to give my usual answer which is: no, it's not rude to go sans favors. But I'm sure there are people who would disagree with me. I am all for creating the wedding you want and can afford. Period. I am not a believer in following the traditional rules of ettiquette if they do not suit you and your personality. Now, if you would prefer to give out favors, but just don't have the money, well, you have options. There are many creative things you can do to say "thanks for coming."

• Centerpieces/Decorations that double as favors--How about using small, cute potted plants for flowers as centerpieces and then allowing guests to take them home. If you are already paying for centerpieces you wont be spending any more money (possibly less if you DIY). Plus, your guests are doing some of the clean up for you!


• Email your guests a digital postcard after the wedding --Choose one of your favorite photos from the wedding and turn it into a digital postcard. You can email it to all your guests and say "Thanks for coming to the wedding!" or whatever. This site allows you to upload your photos and make a digital postcard for free!


• Make a (very) small donation in each guests name--Make a $1 donation in the name of each guest to a charity of your choice. This is the cheapest favor you'll find, but one that will make the most difference. Place a small card on each guests plate stating that a donation has been made in their name as a gesture of thanks for attending your big day.
  
  

Hope this helps, Kelly. But remember: if you don't want to include favors in your wedding, then don't. It's completely acceptable in my ettiquette book!

For better of worse,


Nicole {Matrimonial Maven}

Wow.

This totally cracks me up.

Ask Nicole: Affordable Invites

Q. I would like to do something simple with my invitations. Are there any good resources on the Internet for making invitations yourself? Specifically are there any invitation templates I can download and then print myself?

Thanks,
Sheila

A. Great question, Sheila! There are a ton of ways you can save money and keep it simple with your invitations. I did a little research for you and came up with some great resources you should check out:

• Southworth Paper has free wedding invitation templates you can download.



• Here's a great article on the subject, chock full of links and resources.



• Here are some cute DIY kits.



• Cute, printable inviations here.



• You'll find all kinds of options here.



• And of course, I have to make a plug for signing up for a free wedding website via mywedding.com. Not only will you have a cool way to distribute information about your wedding to guests, you'll also be able to send save-the-date and wedding invitations electronically if you're not opposed to that. Guests can also RSVP right on your site which makes it super easy for you to keep track of the list.
  

Hope this helps! Good luck finding the invitations that fit your style best!

For Better or Worse,

Nicole {Matriomonial Maven}

Do What You Want! It's Your Wedding!

Browsing through the website Sharon likes to call The Vom, I am always astounded at the number of questions from brides asking if it's ok to have two different types of music at the wedding or if they can mix up the seating arrangement at the reception. Really? You really need to ask them for permission to have the kind of music you like at your own wedding? This drives me nuts! Now either this website likes to depict women (particularly brides) as helpless creatures who cannot think for themselves outside of an old-school ettiquette book or there really ARE women out there who genuinely feel they need someone else's permission to plan their wedding their way. Yikes! It makes me dizzy just thinking about it.

I often leave the said site baffled and wondering if the bride's questions are real. While planning my own wedding, I didn't even think about asking someone if I could let my bridesmaids pick out their own dresses. I just did. No they did not match perfectly, but I liked the mis-matched look and I'm pretty sure all of my friends were able to wear their dresses again. Something most people will never be able to say. Because let's face it: no one will ever wear a taffeta dress EVER again. Ever. But I digress.

My point is: I am all for boucing ideas off of each other and brainstorming--even asking the "ettiquette experts" the really hard questions having to do with family dynamics, etc-- but I hope people are starting to understand that there are no rules anymore when it comes to planning your wedding. You really can have whatever kind of wedding you want!

Fall Centerpiece Ideas

Check out this DIY project from Martha Stewart Weddings! If you're having an autumn wedding, this is a great affordable AND elegant option. Not to mention it's pretty eco-friendly as well.

Tagged ~ 8 Things!!

Leslie from Decidely Uncomplicated tagged me to do the following meme: I am supposed to list eight (8) random facts or habits about myself and then tag eight (8) other Bloggers!

1. I love to cook & experiment with recipes.


2. I don't have cable TV.


3. If I did I would watch the Food Network constantly. And Scrubs.


4. Instead, I order TV shows from Netflix.


5. I've been married for a little over 4 years to my sweetie of 8 years.


6. My favorite musician is Stevie Wonder.


7. I'm going to see him in concert at the end of this month!


8. I live on an island.

Now it's my turn to tag 8 more bloggers:

1. Emily at Eco Chic Weddings


2. Sharon at The Vom


3. Thryn at Wedlog


4. Erica at Bridalicious


5. Khris at DIY Bride


6. Christi at The Healthy Bride


7. Joy at Oh Joy!


8. Holly & Diana at Brides in the City

Obligatory Invites & Your Bridal Backbone

One of the most common questions I am asked by brides is: "Should I invite [insert name of person you don't really want to invite, but feel obligated to for one reason or another]?" This is not an easy subject to broach for many people. It's a complicated, multi-layered issue that ultimately depends on each person's unique situation.

It's easy for me to jump right in and say you should only invite the people you truly want at your wedding. And in a perfect world where everyone is mature and don't take things personally, I would say go for it. However, there are times when inviting someone you wouldn't normally consider makes more sense than losing a friendship or causing a huge uproar in the family.

For example, when my husband and I were planning our wedding we decided to keep it small and invite about 75 people or so. This posed a challenge for my in-laws since they have more friends than anyone else I know. So needless to say, their list of people to invite equalled more than half our guest list. We wanted to be respectful and allow them to invite their friends, but we also wanted to feel like it was our crowd. So we compromised. We said they could invite 20 friends. And while it wasn't their first preference, ultimately they understood where we were coming from and it all worked out in the end.

So my best advice is to listen to your gut and ask yourself the following questions:

• What are your biggest priorities?
• Do you want a small, intimate wedding?
• By not inviting someone are you putting a valuable relationship at risk?
• If you will cause a snag in the relationship, is it worth it?

And, yes, sometimes it IS worth the snag. Who wants a drunken lunatic at their wedding? Well, most people don't anyway. My point is that it's OK to cause a snag when you're standing up for what you want. It's called exercising what I call your "Bridal Backbone." You don't always have to play peacemaker, but you've got to know what you want before putting your foot down.

Hope this helps!

For Better or Worse,
Nicole {Matrimonial Maven}

Have a question for me? Email me with your concern and I'll post a reply here on the blog!

A Bridal Revolution!

One of my posts on the mywedding.com blog inspired me to call for a revolution among brides. Specifically, I am speaking to all brides who are fed up with the image of Bridezilla. I know there are plenty of brides who are not Bridezillas at all, but instead care more about having a good time with friends and family rather than obsessing over ribbon colors. I say: down with Bridezilla and bring on (as cheesy as this may sound) Bridechilla! How about committing to stay true to yourself, your values, and your loved ones while planning your wedding instead of bowing down to the Gods of Wedding Materialism and Meaningless Traditions? How about banding together with other brides and commanding to be seen for the happy, level-headed, chilled-out brides that you are and not giving the media another chance to depict women as, excuse me, bitches? I don’t know about you, but I am tired of not having an alternative. Aren’t you? If your answer is yes, leave a comment below and tell me what makes someone a Bridechilla instead of a Bridezilla. Then I’ll take your comments and compile the official Bridechilla Manifesto.